Friday, 27 May 2016

My Short Story

Blog Post Title - My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to:
  • Use a large productive vocabulary across the curriculum (Year 9/10)
  • Use a wide range of punctuation appropriately and with increasing accuracy. (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted blue are where I have shown my vocabulary and the ones highlighted green is my punctuation goal.

My Story...

Ocean Disaster

"Hands up if you would like to go on an underwater adventure!" Said Miss Ellie excitedly. Lilly loves to be underwater, exploring the unknown, so she slid her hand up straight away. Chloe on the other hand, she can't stand the water, especially when it has sharks in it. Lilly really didn't want to be alone on the trip, so she shoved Chloe's hand up in the air. Chloe hoped that Miss Ellie wouldn't count it, but it was to late. Then the bell rang, and the whole class left, except Chloe.
 " Um Miss Ellie, there's been a misunderstanding, I never wanted to go on that trip that you..." Stop." Miss Ellie interrupted. " Well I'm sorry Chloe, but it's to late. If you drop out now, I won't have enough people going, and plus, who would want to miss out on a opportunity like this? " Ok then, I guess your right, I mean who would want to miss out on a opportunity like this?" Then Chloe thought in her head, me obviously.

As Chloe wandered out of the classroom, Lilly was waiting for her. " Now I have to go on that stupid trip!" Stated Chloe. " I know, I was kinda listening to that whole conversation, so, ah ,yeah, I know ah, everything." Said Lilly with guilt. " You know what, it's going to be fine, I'm sure we will have heaps of fun." Said Chloe trying to turn things around. " Now that's the spirit!" Sung Lilly.They spent the rest of the day thinking about the trip, mostly good things, but some worries. The first thing they did when they got home, was packing. They packed all the things they needed, such as, clothes, togs, shoes, toiletries, and some other stuff as well.

                                                                   Day of camp

"Beep...Beep...Beep." Went the sound of Chloe's alarm clock. Chloe slithered out of her bed, and went and got breakfast. Her mum had made her eggs, bacon, and pancakes for the extra energy boost. Then Chloe rambled to her room and got her things ready. When she was in the middle of getting changed, there was a knock at the door. Chloe knew exactly who it was, so she finished getting changed, and ran to open the door. As she predicted, there stood Lilly, ready to walk down to school. Chloe ran and got her things, said goodbye, and scooted out the door.

On there way to school, Lilly could not stop thinking about there trip. The cool sights that they were going to see, the food that they were going to eat, and the cool experience that they were going to have altogether. But on the other hand, Chloe couldn't stop thinking about the negatives. When they got to school, there was a roll taken. After the roll had been taken, they got on the bus, and started to relax. The bus took them to the train station, which took them to the Brisbane airport, which took them to there mystery island that they would be staying at for the next 3 days.

                                                                      In Hawaii

When they found out that they were going to Hawaii, they were so happy. Chloe and Lilly, had never been to an island before, so they were extra excited. "This is so beautiful." Exclaimed Lilly. "I know right." Replied Chloe. As they set foot to the grainy, golden, sand, they sighed. "I wish we lived here." Said Chloe, as she gazed at the palm trees in the distance. "Same." Lilly  announced. The instructor was standing in front of the whole group, smiling at the kids who had never been here before. " Beautiful isn't it." Said there very pleased instructor.

                                                             Cooperative Games

The first activity was Capture The Flag. Lilly and Chloe loved to play Capture The Flag, back at school with some of there classmates. Team 1 was, Lilly, Chloe, and Grace, and team 2 was, Chelsea, Emma, and Laura. The game went really well, and team 1, won. They got 100 points for there team. At the end of the day, they would count up all the points, and the winners would get a prize. The games kept on going on for the whole day. The last game was Spotlight, and the points were tied. They all tried there hardest and...................... Team 2 won by 1 point! 


"Now for the best activity." Said Lilly. " You sure about that, I think it will be pretty scary." Replied Chloe, terrified about what was going to happen next. " Please grab your snorkeling gear and listen to your snorkeling instructor." Explained our camp instructor. As Chloe jumped into the water she couldn't believe here eyes! There was all different colored fish and sea creatures that she had never seen before. 

                                                                   The Attack! 

As Chloe was talking Lilly about the sights around them, a deadly shark came rushing up behind them, and clutched onto Chloe's leg! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Chloe screeched at the top of her lungs! " HELP, HELP!!!!!" Yelped Lilly trying to help Chloe as much as she could. Chloe got rushed to hospital as soon as possible.


After the attack had happened, everyone got escorted back to the hotel. Many people were asking questions about the tragedy that had just happened. Lilly had gone in the ambulance with Chloe so she wasn't alone. She would definitely never do that again.

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